Planning for the conversation (LO2)
Let’s start to bring the concepts together with a case study and make a plan to have a difficult conversation.
Learning activity: Initial thoughts: our shoddy first draft (SFD)
What are your initial thoughts on the presented scenario?
A roommate (parent, friend, partner, etc.) turns down the temperature on the hot water tank. Now no one in the house can take a hot shower.
Go to your Workbook and write your answers, and then click on the checkbox.
Learning activity: Planning template
For the next few activities, consider a situation that you want to work on. You could use the one we just worked on or one of your own; start small if you are using a situation of your own. Download the Planning Template and fill out the first section with your SFD.
Go to the Planning Template and write your answers, and then click on the checkbox.
Interests
There are different types of interests and a combination may be involved for any conversation. Take a look at each type, and explore the ways we can expand, uncover, and incorporate those interests in conversations.
Substantive:
- Material Concerns – Money, Resources, Time
Procedural:
- How things are done
- How decisions are made
- How disputes are resolved
Psychological:
- Emotional needs, respect, trust, fairness, acknowledgement
- More issues and interests = more room for tradeoffs & broadening the range of possible solutions
- Identifies stakeholders
- More issues and interests addressed the more durable
- Less possibility for future misunderstandings
- Topics that need to be discussed
- Problems that need to be resolved
- Creating agendas
- Breaking issues into sub-issues
- Prioritizing interests
- Be clear on your own interests
- Understand the other person’s interests
- Prioritize interests
- Use interests to reframe positions into problems that can be worked on
Conversations are a constant “give and take”. We are looking for a solution that meets X for you and Y for me. Understanding the interests of both parties is an essential part of reaching a resolution that works for both sides. When planning for a conversation make sure you have a clear idea of everyone’s interests, and take these into account in your plan.
It’s always okay to write down your plan before any conversation. That plan will evolve and change depending on the situation you’re working through.