Preparing for difficult conversations, including your role (LO1)
Overview
Before even getting to a difficult conversation, the first step is to understand more about difficult conversations, including what they are and our role in them. We’ll talk about various aspects of the conversations, including how to recognize barriers to constructive conversations that others or yourself may present. There will also be opportunities to improve on some of the barriers that you face, so that you can be as well-prepared as possible going into the conversations.
We are constantly engaged in conversations. Sometimes these conversations go well, other times the outcomes of these are less than ideal.
Learning activity: exploring difficult conversations
Intention: Reflect on difficult conversations.
Instruction: Write down a few words that describe your feelings about difficult conversations. What happens when a conversation is going well? Consider what you hear, see, and feel.
You can write your answers on Discord to take part in a conversation about difficult conversations. Please feel free to add constructive comments to others’ answers as well.
What do good and difficult conversations look like?
In general, difficulties in conversations can arise from a few different sources: the relationship, value differences, structural problems, and data problems. See how your previous answers fit into the categories below.
The graphic illustrates examples of different sources of difficult conversations, combined with an “interests triangle”, which captures how interests can be psychological (e.g., emotional needs), substantive (e.g., money, products), or procedural (e.g., rules, processes).
The good news is that we can build skills around each of these aspects even before the conversation starts. There is no guarantee that the conversation will be successful, but there will be a greater chance of a constructive outcome.
We’ll start with:
- Getting to know ourselves better,
- Building listening and empathy skills, then
- Planning for a difficult conversation.
Let’s get started.
Learning activity: Self-assessment
Let’s bring the idea of conversations into ourselves as individuals, to start identifying aspects that we can improve on, even before we start the conversation itself.
What are some of the things you can think of from past conversations that you did to help a conversation go well?
What are some of the things that may have made the conversation harder or that you wish you could have done differently?
Go to your Workbook and write your answers, and then click on the checkbox. You can use the examples provided and add your own.